


Tick Tock

by Synnerxx



Category: Metallica
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Loneliness, M/M, New Year's Eve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 01:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3100526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lars isn't having fun at his own New Year's Eve party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tick Tock

**Author's Note:**

> more lars angst.

There’s still ten minutes left of 2014 when Lars breaks away from the party in the living room and heads upstairs to his bedroom. He closes the door softly behind him and sits on the edge of his bed. He cradles his glass of wine and swirls it against the sides, watching it idly. 

Nine minutes. 

He sighs and takes a sip of it, licking it away from his bottom lip as he looks around his darkened room, hearing the music and conversation from the party, even through the closed door. He wonders if anyone has noticed yet and decides they probably haven’t.

Eight minutes.

He’s going to hide up here until at least five minutes into the new year, hoping to catch the end of the love fest that comes with midnight. There’s no one for him to kiss, but he doesn’t want to ruin it for anyone else. He’s gotten good at ignoring that empty, hollow feeling in his chest. What’s another year of it? 

Seven minutes. 

What’s another year of ignoring the loneliness in favor of work, Metallica, and his kids? He’ll manage, of course. That’s what he does. That’s what he’s good at. He takes another drink of his wine and eyes the emptiness of the glass. There’s half a swallow left, but he doesn’t take it just yet. 

Six minutes. 

Sometimes, late at night, when he’s had a few glasses of wine and it’s dark outside, he thinks about what it would be like to have someone with him. He tries to keep the person vague and undefined, but he knows who it is. James. It always comes back to James. They used to have a thing, but then rehab happened and therapy, and that was that. It was over and nothing more was said when James came back to the band.

Five minutes. 

Lars drains his glass and sets it down on his nightstand. His hands tap out a nervous beat on his thighs. There’s an ache in his chest now. He misses James. They’re best friends, but that’s all they are and James never once brought up the fact that they used to be more. Well, they never gave it a label and James certainly never said they were in a relationship, but sometimes, late at night, with James curled behind him, Lars would whisper the word “boyfriend” to himself and giggle, blushing. But he hadn’t done that since the band was first together. 

Four minutes.

He wishes he had more wine. He wants to block out James from his memory. He knows he can’t have him again and it hurts. He’s been in love with James for so long now, he doesn’t know what it’s like to not be in love with him. It’s sad and he should move on, but he can’t let go of James. Not that he really tries anyway.

Three minutes.

He plucks at his bedspread before getting up and pacing around the room. He’s got to let this go. He’s got to move on and maybe even find someone to settle down with. That would be good. He could get over James once and for all. He needs to stop clinging to a memory and start building a better life for himself. He can’t hold on to nothing.

Two minutes. 

He drops back down on the foot of his bed and buries his face in his hands. He’s so tired all of a sudden. Tired of wanting someone who doesn’t want him back. Tired of loving someone who doesn’t love him the way he needs. Tired of being lonely. Tired of curling up in a cold and empty bed every night. He’s just tired.

One minute.

His bedroom door opens quietly and he looks up, surprised to find James shutting it behind him as he stands there, looking at Lars. 

“You disappeared.” He says softly.

“Mm, yeah. Just needed a moment.” Lars sits up straight and flashes a smile at James, hoping he won’t look too closely at it.

“You’re going to miss the ball drop.” James says, stepping closer to the bed.

“It’s fine. I’ve seen it before.” Lars looks away, down at his knees, rubbing his hands over the denim.

Thirty seconds.

“You would have missed this then, if I hadn’t found you in time. And that would have been very disappointing to me. It’s not good to start the new year on a disappointment.” James says mildly, reaching out and tipping Lars’s head back by his chin.

“What?” Lars asks, looking confused.

Ten seconds.

James glances at his watch before leaning down into Lars, lips skimming along Lars’s cheekbone as he whispers the final eight seconds of 2014 in Lars’s ear before pulling back with a soft smile. 

“Happy New Year.” He says and then kisses Lars as cheers rise up into the bedroom from the party.

Lars makes a noise of surprise, hands landing on James’s chest, before giving in to James’s kiss and kissing him back. It’s everything that he remembered it being, from James’s hands cupping his face, to James’s cologne surrounding him, to the softness of James’s mouth on his own. 

James pulls back as the kiss ends and, for a moment, Lars’s is afraid to open his eyes, afraid that James isn’t really there and that it was a dream.

“Hey, you still with me?” James asks, amusement in his voice.

“Yeah.” Lars clears his throat and opens his eyes, looking up at James.

“Happy New Year.” James repeats and smiles at him.

“Godt Nytår !” Lars says, blinking in surprise up at James.

“I think this year is the year we do this right.” James strokes his fingers along Lars’s cheek.

“You mean…?” Lars trails off, unable to say the words.

“Yeah. Us.” James leans down for another kiss and Lars meets him halfway, arms around James’s neck. 

“Well, it’s about time.” Lars smirks when this kiss ends.

James laughs, tugging at the ends of Lars’s hair. They know there’s still a lot to talk about and sort out and fight out, but for now, they’re content to exchange kisses and look forward to 2015.


End file.
